Some Scenes From a Celebration

My 40th birthday wasn't all stomach virus recovering, nutcracker attending, and ice storm traversing. In addition to gaining perspective, I was also the lucky recipient of a rather stellar dinner party Sunday evening orchestrated by my amazing hubby and my dearest buddies and partners in crime Sam and Achlee.

Friends, it would be an understatement to say that the evening was seriously magical. A whole crew of my unbelievably kind friends spent hours transforming the studio into a sort of sparkly, glittery, haven-o-happy (that just so happened to smell exactly like my beloved Northern California due to the masses of eucalyptus and olive branch garlands gracing every conceivable surface). Long, candle-laden tables were set with gold flatware and individual handmade marble and wood cheeseboards, each topped with my of my favorite quotes. There was champagne and roasted beets and almonds and burrata and pork loin and curried lentils and butternut squash and dark chocolate and Italian cream cake. Wine flowed; immensely lovely toasts were made; Sixteen Candles was projected on the wall during dinner...

And just when I thought they'd pulled out every amazing trick in the book, after dinner my dad and Bryan performed a saxophone/guitar duet of "The Girl from Ipanema" (the first time they've ever performed together in the nearly 17 years we've been together).

It was, without a doubt, one of the best nights of my life. I am a lucky girl. Done and done.

This Is (Actually) 40...

And the lead up to the big day (yesterday) was filled with all manner of hilarity. Relatively speaking...

First there was the wicked stomach flu that hit me late Wednesday night, rendering me totally out of commission for the better part of two days. (Really there are no words friends, I haven't been that sick since I got food poisoning at age nine due to some shady shrimp). When I finally rejoined the land of the living, we were greeted with a massive ice storm (a.k.a. ice-ageddon) which effectively shut down the city, leaving all us Texas folk wondering how the hell to, you know, get through any basic daily task -- well, at least the adults... The kids, of course, were alright, romping about in the icy goodness, sleuthing out any semblance of an incline, in an attempt to execute their best Shaun White impression. During one particular act of daring do, Millie, being, well, Millie, landed flat on her face and busted open her lip, causing it to swell to Jocelyn Wildenstein-like proportions. Good times.

Cut to Friday night (are you tired yet?), and we're slowly car-sledding our way toward Nutcracker performance number one of four the girls were scheduled to perform in over the weekend (the last one is in a couple of hours), my sad stomach and Millie's lip explosion be damned. Let's just say the whole enterprise was a cluster. I mean really, all we could do was laugh.

But with the clarity of a single day, I can honestly say all that mayhem was a good thing. I mean let's face it...I'd set a pretty high bar for this birthday, what with the whole trying to become a perfect person experiment and all. (What was I thinking?) I was due for a dose of reality. And the reality is sometimes (ok, oftentimes) life is messy, kludgy, frustrating, downright disappointing. You just have to keep rolling through -- chin up, wits about you, spirits as high as they can possibly be.

Here's the thing: turning 40 turned out to be a little hard than I thought it would be. I talked a good game in the months leading up, but lying in bed early yesterday morning I'm not gonna lie, I felt old. A little sad even. But then I sucked it up and reminded myself that with the old (ok, ok, older) there's the wiser, the cooler, the more confident, the less neurotic, the just generally chilled out. But most important, there's the perspective. As shameful as it is for me to admit, I'm not sure I would have been so laissez-faire about the events of the past four days in my 30s, and I know I wouldn't have been in my 20s (let's just say I was not my best self in my 20s).

So here's to 40 (and laissez-faire and que sera sera) and, with it, the ability to ride the wave, no matter how gnarly it gets.

The Yin and Yang of My Make-Up Bag

Earlier this year I spent a lot of time working with my amazing friends Leslie and Kate (a.k.a. my health gurus) to help me get my mind/body/soul in top shape in anticipation of the big 40 later this year. Those brilliant ladies taught me all sorts of good stuff, much of which, believe it or not, I actually still do (i.e the copious amounts of water with lemon every morning, the body brushing, the breathing exercises, the limiting of sugar, the  moving around more, the stretching, the gratitude practice, the vitamins and probiotics). 

But amid all the guidance, the thing that seems to have been the most useful is the idea of balance and moderation that they espoused. The 80% rule if you will. It's hard to live clean; I'm not gonna lie. I have vices -- like chocolate and ice cream and gin and tonics with extra lime and hairspray (Elnett is my drug of choice). So to offset "the bad," Leslie and Kate promote the idea that you need to temper it with a lot of good. So I now religiously use organic skin care products (I'm crazy about everything from One Love Organics) to atone for my big, gold can of strong hold magic. The trick is deciding what's really, really worth keeping and then ditching the rest for stuff that's good for you. Easy, right??

Well, not so much... Friends, I'm having an awfully hard time with the contents of my makeup bag. 

Let's do a little inventory: there's the Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer and coal black eyeliner that I intend to take to my grave, some rather brilliant Nars lip gloss, a great Tom Ford bronzing stick thingy, and (my latest obsession) some YSL mascara that makes me feel like, well, the most glamorous person in the entire world every time I twist open the gold tube and swipe the inky goodness across my lashes. 

So until I figure out how to bring a modicum of virtue to my cosmetics line up, I'm assuaging my guilt (and managing my stress) with that little Snow Lotus roll-on aromatherapy action above. Kate gave it to me. I use it like it's my job, and I feel a little more upstanding every. single. time. I dab it on my wrists...

It's something.

This Is (Almost) 40: A To Do List

So I have failed epically at updating you guys on my progress toward self betterment in anticipation of the big 4-0 at the end of the year. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been actually partaking in the steps toward betterment (well at least some of them). I'm planning a big, epic brain dump on what I've accomplished (and what I haven't) in the coming weeks, but in the meantime, I wanted to share a little "manifesto" that my brilliant health Goddess Leslie gave me at our final session together. ("Final" being further evidence of my major delinquency in reporting here on the blog).

Like most really smart, true things, the manifesto has been floating around a bit. This is likely not the first time you've seen this advice -- it wasn't the first time I'd seen it. And (again, like most smart, true things), it's certainly nothing earth shattering. It's obvious. But Leslie gave it to me at the exact time I needed to re-read it and, most important, was ready to actually adhere to it (she's magical like that).

I thought I'd share it here with you guys in the off chance that you might also be in particular need of a little nudge toward letting go, mellowing out, slowing down, and generally not making everything 100% harder than it needs to be. Here goes...

speak less, listen more

say less, do more

worry less, work more

ride less, walk more

eat less, chew more

start less, finish more

correct less, prevent more

blame less, forgive more

wrestle less, embrace more

compete less, cooperate more

take less, give more

have less, be more

frown less, laugh more

This Is (Almost) Forty: February Progress Report

Given that February has come and gone, I suppose it's time for a little status on how my "Operation 40" is going, yes?

As a refresher, the plan is to spend the year leading up to my 40th birthday in December focusing on a single goal each month in an attempt to become the best possible version of myself in "mind, body, and spirit" before the big milestone. (You can take a peek at each month's goals here, if you're so inclined.)

February's goal was to "Improve my fitness," and in the spirit of August's goal to "Attempt more inner peace," I'm going to say I did OK (as opposed to the more truthful, "I failed miserably" assessment.) I went into the month planning to walk with a friend every Saturday, go to a yoga class once a week, and do a work out tape of some sort twice a week. If you're doing the math, that's four workouts a week, which is exactly four more workouts per week than I had been doing prior to February.

Perhaps I was aiming too high. Maybe my goal should have just been to "work some sort of physical activity into my daily routine," or maybe I should have simply set out to "move more." Had I gone one of those routes, I would have achieved at, say... 70%, which, really, isn't so bad. Each day, I have gotten some sort of physical activity/moved more...I've done some concentrated stretching or perhaps a little light arm weight action. I've still been using the jump rope, and now, after I down my H2O (more on that in second), I do jumping jacks while I'm waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. So I'm working on it. Sloooowly.

Fitness fails aside, I am still going strong on several of my January tasks. I continue to meet with the amazing and lovely Leslie Needleman most weeks, and she helps me stay on track, while giving me new exercises to work into my life betterment initiative (sounds v. formal, I realize).

Here's are the things that I'm still doing as well the new "tasks" I've added to my daily routine:

I carried over drinking 32 ounces of water every morning before my coffee:
Friends, this practice is totally and completely life changing. (I don't exaggerate when I say this). I have more energy, my skin is better, and I just generally feel lighter and more clear-headed throughout the day. There's something to be said for being hydrated I guess.

I carried over eliminating most desserts and candy:
Once I got through the January cold turkey, I started to allow myself an occasional dessert. But...the amazing news is that I didn't really want them anymore. On the couple of occasions that I did indulge, I would have a few bites and be totally satisfied. I am more gobsmacked at this development than anyone. I still fear sugar given my deep and abiding life-long love for it/addiction to it, but I don't feel that it has the stranglehold on me that it once did.

I added a tongue scraper:
This was a Leslie suggestion. She gave me the tongue scraper and suggested I use it after meals to help reduce cravings (the idea being that clearing the lingering flavors off my tongue would help shift my focus away from them). I'm not sure if the practice has helped with cravings, but my mouth feels healthier, so that's a plus. Other purported benefits of tongue scraping (in case you're wondering) are helping taste buds function better (resulting in improved satiety) and possible reduction of upper respiratory illnesses (by helping to prevent bacteria from traveling into the respiratory system).

I added dry body brushing:
This was another Leslie add, and I can safely say that I am totally addicted. I do it every. single. morning. starting from the soles of my feet up to the back of my neck, using a natural bristle brush. In addition to the obvious sloughing away of dry skin, dry brushing is credited with promoting tighter skin; helping rid the body of toxins; promoting cell renewal and blood flow; increasing circulation; and aiding in digestion. (I'm not gonna lie, they had me at "promoting tighter skin.") All I know is that it feels amazing, and my skin is super soft, so I'm all in on this one.

I added a new vitamin routine
Last but not least, I've also started visiting Dr. Kate Naumes to help get my seasonal allergies under control holistically and determine exactly which vitamins I should be taking. (She, like Leslie, is amazing.) She has me on a great multi-vitamin, a combo fish/Sea Buckthorn oil omega blend, vitamin D, and a probiotic.

At this point I can honestly say I feel stronger, healthier, and more energized. I've managed to bypass getting sick despite two bouts of full-household sinus infections, and my stress level is lower in the face of pretty insane work and home schedules of late...so far, so good.

March's goal is "Buff and Polish," which constitutes getting my skin care regime totally nailed down and figuring out what "treatments" I want to give a whirl. I'm also going to double back on fitness, as, clearly, I still need to do some work in that department... I'll be back in March with another update. Wish me luck.

This Is (Almost) Forty: January Progress Report

Given that we've hit the end of January, I figured I owed you guys a little (well, not so little...this one is long friends) progress report on the month's goal in my great quest for life improvement leading up to my 40th birthday. (For those of you new to the program, you can get the full low down on "Operation 40" here.) 

January's goal was to "revamp my diet." My mission with this particular initiative wasn't to go on a "diet" or to lose weight... Rather, I wanted to discover the best possible way to eat in order to be more energized and sharp and happy and healthy (yes, I believe food impacts all of those outcomes). I wanted to assess my current diet, really paying attention to what I was putting into my body each day, pinpoint the good and bad, compare the ideal state with the current state, and map out a plan for improvement. No biggie.

I knew I couldn't do this on my own. I needed help -- a health guru if you will. Enter (the utterly amazing) Leslie Needleman. She and her business partner Mary Kathryn Bass co-own a fantastic organic juice bar here in Dallas called The GEM. Leslie is also a certified holistic health counselor who received training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition under such healthy living luminaries as Andrew Weil and Deepak Chopra. Oh and she's also a mom of three, a cancer survivor, and, by far, one of the coolest ladies I know. Full stop.

As an offshoot of The GEM, the ladies have just launched a 16-week program focused on taking a holistic approach to health and wellness, with individualized coaching on reaching health goals such as reducing food cravings, increasing sleep, and maximizing energy.

I found my guru.

I've been meeting with Leslie once a week since the beginning of January, and in keeping with my goal of revamping my diet, we've focused mostly on nutrition thus far, but we're also beginning to discuss things that I'll deep dive into in the coming months such as exercise (yikes) and stress management. The process has been incredibly personal (it's isn't a one size fits all enterprise), taking into account my health history, my long-term goals, and my satisfaction with every aspect of my life, from relationships to finances to fitness. For the nutrition portion of the program, my specific goals included:

• Drastically reduce my sugar cravings.
• Increase and maintain energy with less caffeine.
• Incorporate more "super foods" into my diet.
• Cook and eat at home more often.
• Get the rest of my family on board with the plan (without making them hate me).

To that end, Leslie assigned specific tasks (I assigned myself a few too) to accomplish each goal. She gave me easy and delicious recipes to try that Bryan and the girlies would dig, and, understanding that beautiful design is something that gets me excited, gifted me a gorgeous cookbook to peruse for inspiration. Here were the six things I committed to and how each one went:

Drink 32 ounces of water every morning before my coffee:

When Leslie first mentioned this one, I balked. Sure a single glass of water with lemon upon waking seemed like a no brainer. But 32 ounces?? Before my coffee??? Holy hell. But she was persistent, assuring me that this would change my life, as I'd have loads more energy, need less caffeine, and be "cleansed" (I won't go into details on that last one, but let's just say it means what you think it means). The first two days were hard. I felt like I was going to float away. I was nauseated. I wanted my coffee right away (not after 32 flippin' ounces of water!).  But, determined to be a good student, I stuck with it. Friends, she was right. It has changed. my. life. I am utterly and completely addicted. I even created a little ritual around it. I pour my first glass the minute I get out of bed, add the juice from half a lemon (this is the game changer), and down it. I'm thirsty first thing in the morning, so chugging the first glass is easy. Then I pour the second glass (my beloved Marta coolers conveniently hold 18 ounces), flip on the coffee, and sip the H2O until the coffee is brewed. By the time I'm done with the water, I'm so awake that I no longer feel like I need the joe. I pour a small cup and just, well... enjoy it. It's empowering. I am, without a doubt, more energized. And yes, it kicks off a "cleanse" too.

Do a three day juice cleanse:

Yay...more cleansing. Ok, this one was so, so much harder than the water. I wish I could report that the three days of subsisting on juice made me feel otherworldly and amazing and beyond healthy, but, I'm not gonna lie, I felt hungry and angry...Hangry. So hangry in fact that my family begged me to eat when I got home from work each day. I was torn, as I didn't want to cheat, but damn I was hungry (in case you didn't get that before), so I succumbed and "cheated" with some kale salad, a little fruit, some organic roast chicken, and a few pumpkin seeds at various intervals over the three days. It was still a highly virtuous enterprise, and once I added a little actual food, I did indeed feel otherworldly and amazing and beyond healthy. It also kicked off my now deep and abiding passion for green juice, specifically a kale + cucumber + celery + green apple (just a little) + lemon + ginger elixir that is wildly delicious. As such, I'm planning to buy a juicer in the next couple of weeks so I can work that magic potion into my diet every day.

Buy a jump rope and try to get up to 10 minutes of jumping a day:

Ok this one is technically for my February goal of "Improving My Fitness," but Leslie wanted me to get a head start (damn you Leslie). I bought the jump rope and have been utilizing it every day. It's fun -- Audrey and I have even made a little game of it -- but I've yet to reach the 10 minute daily goal. Three minutes makes me feel like I might go into cardiac arrest. It's a bad scene. But I'm not afraid. I'm going to rock that jump rope...just wait.

Eliminate all desserts and candy for the month of January:

This goal was technically mine, as Leslie would never be this restrictive. She doesn't roll that way. However, given my history with sugar, the fact that I know how hugely unhealthy it is, and my staunch determination to reduce my craving for it once and for all, I went big. I didn't eliminate the sweet stuff completely. I still put a little in my single (!) cup of coffee in the morning and ate greek yogurt, et al, but for 31 full days I was 99.9% successful in not eating a single dessert or dessert-like item (candy, errant chocolate chips, etc...) My two small cheats involved a bite of my mother-in-law's birthday cake and half a brownie at a dinner party. It's been hard (I've actually dreamt of chocolate), but my cravings are drastically reduced. And, the most important part, I feel better. I'm planning to (mostly) stick with this moving forward, although a regular square of dark chocolate will always be a part of my life.

Revamp my pantry:

This is a service that Leslie and Mary Kathryn offer through The GEM program, but I had already enlisted my friend (and D Moms contributor) Holly Davis to do the job as part of a piece we're running in the spring issue of the magazine. I love Holly. She's funny, erudite, warm... But she means business. Let's just say that she let me keep a grand total of five items from my pantry (raw pumpkin seeds, raw almonds, two boxes of whole wheat pasta, and some organic dark coffee), ditched every single bit of the rest, and replaced it with all manner of healthy bits. The end goal was to eliminate as many processed foods as possible, instead filling the shelves with organic raw nuts, seeds, grains, dried fruits, dark chocolate (yay!), green tea, and healthy oils and vinegars. GMO-free, organic, BPA-free boxes and jars (no cans) of soup, beans, tomatoes, jam, nut butters, grade b maple syrup, salsa, free-range broth, whole-wheat pasta, brown rice, and granola also made the cut. My pantry has largely stayed Holly-ized, but a few things have crept back in due to some very heavy lobbying by Bryan and the girlies. I would call the end-result a 85% improvement. Nothing to balk at for sure.

Whew... If you're still reading, I owe you a drink after this long-winded action. Big time. I'm now on to February's (dreaded) goal of "improving my fitness." I'll report back in a few weeks on how that one goes down. Wish me luck...

This Is (Almost) Forty (Updated)

(A cadre of smart, talented, inspiring, altogether rockin' ladies...who also happen to be forty, from top: Charlotte Gainsbourg photographed by Paul Jasmin, Sofia Coppola via RDuJour, Phoebe Philo at her London atelier photographed by Annie Leibovitz, Christene Barberich, Editor-in-Chief of Refinery29.com, Cat Power photographed by David Black.)

I tend to take the making of resolutions/intentions/goals at the start of each year pretty seriously. I ponder, consider, noodle... Let's just say I put a lot of thought into the whole enterprise.

Sadly, my that focus doesn't always carry over to actually executing them. Don't get me wrong, many years I do really well, even creating regular "check points" throughout the year to get a sense of my progress. But last year, well, last year was abysmal.

Starting a new job, I knew it was going to be a crazy, upside down year, so I went with an easy "intentions" approach, listing the things I wanted to do more and less of in 2012. Specifically I wanted to be more attentive, drink more green tea, take more ballet classes, and unplug more (among other things). I also wanted to eat less sugar, buy less stuff, be less busy/over-scheduled, etc...

Friends, I failed on every single one of those things. All. Of. Them. I'm not proud.

So this year I'm feeling the need to make up for my failures. Also this year (on December 7 to be exact) I'm turning 40.

Coming up on a milestone birthday, whether it's 25 or 40, just begs for some sort of massive self improvement, don't you think? So I'm going to try and do just that...you know you're basic total life overhaul. No biggie.

Here's the deal, from now - December, I'm going to focus on accomplishing a single goal each month through a variety of experiences/assignments/tasks, etc... in an attempt to become the best possible version of myself in "mind, body, and spirit" before I turn 40.

The end goal isn't about trying to achieve some sort of perfection. Perfection is boring. Especially that ideal we seem to be currently obsessed with in America -- reality TV star buffed and polished, all straight glossy hair and white Chiclet teeth and bronzed Barbie body. I want none of that action. Flawed and complex is just infinitely more interesting. This project is just about being the best possible version of my flawed self. Being healthier and more balanced. Treading  more lightly on the earth, being a more present, attentive, loving wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, achieving some balance (what ever that looks like).

I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared...and it should be noted that I'm also very, very hungry due to the three day cleanse/detox that I'm currently in the midst of as part of my January goal (more on that later), but I'm also excited. I mean, what's the worst that could happen (don't answer that).

Here are my goals for the year...

(*Update: I inadvertently left off February's goal, which is "Improve My Fitness." Or maybe, given my incredibly strong dislike of "the exercising," I left it off on purpose...I'm not saying for sure. Also note the edit to August.)

• January: Revamp my diet
• February: Improve my fitness 
• March: Buff and polish
• April: Green my home
• May: Create less waste
• June: Unplug (and read)
• July: Learn a new skill
• August: Attempt more inner peace (As opposed to the incredibly lofty, "Find Inner Peace")
• September: Overhaul my wardrobe
• October: Strengthen my marriage
• November: Elevate my kitchen skills
• December: Nurture my relationships

I'm planning on posting details of what I'm doing, how it's going, and what I'm learning a few times each month. Wish me luck.