Bucket Listing

I'd like to think that my recently acquired Taca Zhijie Sui photo, Offerings, somehow influenced Audrey's dreams of Chinese adventures (See how I justify my purchases? Impressive, yes?)


The girlies are currently at work at what can only be described as some serious bucket list action. Their lists are epic (as only lists belonging to two kiddos with their entire lives ahead of them could be...sigh) and have me at once impressed (see the great wall of China, go hiking in a rain forest) and mildly amused (be a nanny -- she's aiming high there that kid of mine).

They also have me inspired to make a little bucket list of my own. Here's what's made the cut so far:

1. Go to Japan
2. Live in California again
3. Take my dad to Alaska
4. Write a book
5. Design a hotel


What's on your bucket list?

Artistic Justification For My Arranging and Rearranging (and Arranging)

 Yes!

And just like that, the fact that creating little vignettes (i.e. incessantly moving shit around) is one of my greatest pleasures (and I do not exaggerate) no longer makes me feel like a total kook.

Hear, hear Mr. Wentworth.

(Thanks Lucia and Gavin.)

Gorgeous, Gorgeous, Stunning, Gorgeous

Love everything about FAYCE Textiles. All of it.

Smitten.

Well played Kim Rosen. Well played.

Pretty (Happy, Nice) Girls

Smiling, happy girls backstage at Chloe, Paris Fashion Week Spring 2015 via Her New Tribe

I've been on a client shoot all week teaming with pretty girls (and guys). The group is also smart, funny, insanely talented, interesting, creative, and, most important, supremely nice.

The experience feels timely, as Audrey and I have been spending a lot of time lately talking about mean girls, cliques, and how to survive the general social nightmare that is tweenhood. She knows how she feels, how she wishes it would be, but she's having a hard time navigating it.

I just keep reminding her that the adults she admires most now were probably not the ones setting the world on fire in junior high, and that it never (every) pays to be (or be friends with) the mean girls.

I try to drill in to her every day that being kind and thoughtful and happy (or as happy as an angsty pre-teen can be) is the best brand of cool.

Wish me luck.

On Being Present

My friend and one of my mentors Christine Allison sent me a link to a piece about artist Anne Truitt's book, The Architecture of Bliss, last week, and minutes after reading it, I hopped on the amazon.com and purchased that bad boy.

It was this excerpt that did the trick:

"My mother’s moral force radiated from her like a gentle pulsation. Sensitive people picked it up and found her presence delicately satisfying.  

[...] 

She was herself only when alone.  

[...] 

This satisfaction with being solitary was a tremendous source of freedom for me. It implied a delight in self and affirmed my own obsessive sieving of experience. By taking her mind totally off me, she gave me my own autonomy. I knew from experience that she was careful and responsible. I realized that she would have watched me had she not been sure that I was all right. And, if she were sure, I could be sure. Very early in my life, I set out stoutly to look around at everything."

I spend a lot of time trying not to sink into the black hole of motherhood guilt lately. I'm not doing enough/I work too much/I'm not up at school enough/I'm not present enough.

That last one is the kicker for me, as deep down I know that's the only one that really matters. That the girls have their own rich inner lives, that they're comfortable being alone, that they feel confident and strong and capable isn't dependent on me baking that extra batch of cookies for the Halloween carnival or chaperoning the field trip. No, those things form in them because they know I'm there, fully.

This constant busyness we've cultivated has made me and Bryan supremely distracted people. Sadly, I see it happening to Audrey too. (Millie, still has the blissful single-focusedness of youth... I.m jealous.) True Presence (with a capital 'P') is rare. Constant multi-tasking is the name of the game friends. It's the only way to get it all done, we argue. It's a dangerous place to be.

But I think so much of our perpetual "being distracted" is our (sad) attempt at simultaneously trying to give to the girls and give to ourselves. It's when we're depleted that we're at our worst as parents, partners, friends (the list goes on). So in addition to being present with the girlies when we're with the girlies, carving out time for ourselves and showing our kids what it looks like to have our own rich inner lives is a key part of the equation too.

So here's to a week of (trying) to be present and (trying) to snatch time to make ourselves better people. It's not going to be easy, as it's gonna be a crazy week at work and the girlies activities are at an all time high. But something's gotta give. I'm not sure of the plan, except to recognize and attempt to course correct. (I'm guessing it's also going to involve a lot of putting down the iPhone.)

Wish us (me) luck.

And Speaking of Birthdays...Scenes From a (Fete Filled) Weekend

The weekend involved celebrating two of my favorite people's special days...

First up, sweet baby Wil's first birthday soiree, wherein there was tamale noshing, cake smashing, teepee lounging, and feather donning. (Oh and the littles had fun too.) Sam knocked it out of the park with a slew of sweet/simple/meaningful/memorable/clever details. Sam is just good like that.

It was the perfect way to honor the first 365 days of this amazing little man's life. Well played sister. Well played.

Next up my rockin' little mama Gracie's mermaid-themed 9th birthday festivities. Utter magic. I'm telling you friends, nobody creates dreamier kiddo parties than my insanely, gobsmackingly, (unfairly) creative friend Achlee. Full stop.

Hope your weekend was splendid.

The (Awesome, Amazing, Soul-Enriching, Totally Inspiring) Birthday Party Project

I have the incredible honor of sitting on the executive board of The Birthday Party Project, an amazing non-profit here in Dallas whose mission is to bring joy to homeless children through the magic of birthdays. The organization goes into over a dozen homeless shelters in our region (and soon other regions...) each month and orchestrates celebrations for children who might otherwise see their special day come and go with zero fanfare. The simple gesture is designed to help children understand that they are valued, loved, and important -- no matter what their circumstances.

Friends, I love this organization. (Watch this video and you will too...I promise.)

Today is North Texas giving day, so (even if you don't live in North Texas), it's a great opportunity to help support this awesome organization. From 6:00 am-midnight, all donations $25 and above donated to The Birthday Party Project will be amplified with bonus funds. (Our goal is to raise $5,000 today, so we can grow to more agencies in North Texas and move into other markets across the country.) No pressure, but if you're feeling it, well, you know the rest...

xx

Some Thoughts on Luxury

Quietly luxurious trays by ceramicist Richard Carter via Nickey Kehoe. Carter is currently collaborating with Kostow on a new line of dinnerware Carter|Kostow.

At the studio (and in my everyday life), I spend an awful lot of time thinking about how to make things feel special, memorable, luxurious even. It almost feels like old news to call this out, but with the world around us feeling increasingly mass produced, encountering something unique somehow feels like the ultimate luxury, yes?

The fact that a "luxury" item doesn't have to be expensive or emblazoned with an expensive label to be luxurious is also a given, but I'm still astounded by how many people I encounter who still believe otherwise.

So I love coming across someone who seems to have the concept of a subtle understated luxury down to a science, like, say, Christopher Kostow, the wunderkind, totally badass, Napa Valley chef profiled by writer Chris Ying in the June Bon Appetit.

To wit:

"... throughout the menu, Kostow downplays his use of luxury ingredients, like how when you're a real baller you don't need to tell anyone how much you spent on your watch. The caviar is hidden under tiny succulent leaves, seasoning rather than gilding the lobster."

"There needs to be a perception of value, but I think our diners are extremely sophisticated, he says." I want them to experience luxury, but it's more our definition of luxury." Kostow describes it as "concern and care. I don't think anyone leaves feeling like they weren't incredibly cared for."

Seasoning rather than gilding. Concern and care. So key, yet so often completely overlooked. Luxury as a touch --  a whisper rather than a shout; putting down your device to look someone in the eye and really listen; abundant generosity -- of your time, your resources; taking deep care, when you make something -- a meal, a gift. Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

Well played Ying and Kostow. Well played.

Pull The "Great Day" Lever

My friend David Schechter's piece about Dallas resident Jimmy Lee Robinson is pretty much the definition of a happy maker.

But the interview outtakes on David's You Tube channel are really rocking my world... I've watched the video no less than ten times in the past 24 hours. Total brilliance.

Rise up friends! Pull the "great day" lever! Great day, great day, great day!

Hear, hear Jimmy Lee. Hear, hear.

Hey Pretty Lady

Images from top: The Coveteur, Neiman Marcus Tumblr, IMDB, The Coveteur, I Love Your Style

In a world obsessed with Photoshop perfection, there really is nothing more modern, more interesting, more appealing, and, well, prettier than real beauty. Yes?

(Oh and I'm going to use that lovely photo of Elizabeth Moss above to profess my utter and complete obsession with Mad Men. I'm on episode 1 of season 5 after a major binge (clearly, I'm a little late to the game), and, friends, I am sucked in. It's a bad scene; I'm not gonna lie.)

On Prettying Up The "Banalities of Life" (Or Why It's Ok That I Style My Produce Drawer)

Photo: Phil Mansfield for The New York Times


I am fascinated by J. Morgan Puett.

The NYT recently ran a piece about the fashion designer and artist wherein her refrigerator was highlighted as a sort of living art lab:

Ms. Puett sees the refrigerator as just as valid a territory for thoughtful arrangement as any other part of the house. "It's a really fun game," she said. "It makes moving through the banalities of life stimulating."  

While I've clearly got nothing on J. Morgan Puett, I've been known to style up my fridge and pretty up my pantry from time to time. Oh who am I kidding. My name is Joslyn, and a perfectly arranged produce drawer is my nirvana.

I get poked fun about this... a lot. And I get it. On some level, obsessively decanting your granola into one of those big glass cracker jars is at best silly and at worst totally obsessive. But I think there's just something, well, essential about it.

I was chatting with my lovely friend Martha yesterday, and our conversation reinforced my (crazy-lady) thinking. Martha is an aesthete through and through -- a fellow lover of beauty. She recently heard Pritzker Prize laureate, architect Renzo Piano speak and was mesmerized. (Piano designed my beloved Nasher Sculpture Center, as well as my bucket-list dwelling Atelier Brancusi in Paris... I am a fan.) She shared some bits from Piano's talk that particularly stood out, like, say...

"Beauty changes the world."

"Beauty wakes up your consciousness. It is essential to life."

Atelier Brancusi via Renzo Piano

Nasher Sculpture Center via Renzo Piano

After she left, she couldn't stop imagining how Piano lived, how he went about executing the "banalities of life." We decided that he probably wakes up, puts on some Rachmaninoff (or Bob Dylan if he's feeling frisky) and enjoys a single perfect cup of espresso while reading the paper. We concluded that he does not, like us, madly scroll through the Internet, frantically answer emails, throw on the clothes he wore yesterday, and race to Starbucks for a caffeine fix...

Suffice to say, I could learn a lot from Piano, least of all that a beautifully organized pantry (or fridge, or linen closet) isn't the sign of someone who needs a styling intervention or therapy; It's "essential to life."

Thanks Renzo.

On Paying It Forward...

(Images of Tavi Gevinson and Ira Glass via WSJ. Magazine.)

That I have the job I have today -- my dream job, a job I would have never imagined having a year ago -- is partially due to a couple of really amazing women investing (and believing) in me. Both women are slightly older than me, more influential, more powerful, more experienced, smarter, busier, oh and infinitely wiser. They didn't have to spend time with me guiding, advising, listening to me yammer endlessly, guiding gently.

But they did. And I am beyond thankful, as the fact that they did was instrumental in literally changing the course of my life, how I spend my working hours, how I feel about work, how my girls view what I do everyday. I don't exaggerate when I say it was monumental.

I think when someone gives you that gift of their time and energy, their knowledge and advice, you are bound to pay it forward. When you are blessed enough to have a mentor (no matter how informal the set-up), I think it's only right that you mentor someone else in return (again, even if it's a totally informal enterprise). There's just something necessary and essential about this idea of helping someone become the best version of herself, don't you think?

I loved reading about Tavi Gevinson and Ira Glass' mentor/mentee relationship in the WSJ. Magazine... especially this:

"He's been the ideal mentor for Rookie, offering advice, support and an understanding of what I want the site to be, but editorially, he doesn't claim to understand the mind of the teenage girl. After we published a post about stickers, he was like, "Is that the name of a drug? Are you speaking in code?" So I covered a piece of paper completely with stickers and gave it to him. I made sure there wasn't any white space."

Besides making me laugh out loud, it underscored the idea that sometimes the best mentor totally understands you, yet doesn't get your immediate world at all. It allows for objectivity, clarity. A good thing for sure.

I've started trying to pay it forward with a few younger women that I think are amazing, and it's been such a cool and rewarding experience...

Do you guys do this? Do you have a mentor or a mentee? I'd love to know about your experiences.

On Being Excited

I get excited. A lot. I can't tamp it down (although I've been told on more than one occasion that I should). I am happy, enthusiastic, upbeat...

All of this, in theory, is good, I mean there's an entire genre of books aimed at upping ones happiness quotient, and yet, being perky isn't the most revered of qualities. It's seems more respectable, cooler even, to be harried, cynical, sardonic.

I'm holding firm though. I don't mind being uncool...being cool is overrated. I'm not afraid to walk out of situation that was magical/fun/interesting and be excited about it (really, really excited). I'm good with that.

Over the past two days, I've had the opportunity to sit down and chat with a design icon, have dinner in quite possibly the most stunning, soulful home I've ever encountered (above), and share lunch with a wholly inspiring and talented woman. It was a good two days.

I am (really really) excited.