1.02.2008

My Glamorous Life

The Vena Cava dress

So…I really had no business taking a four-year-old to Barneys, much less actually attempting to try something on with her in tow, but after schlepping through the mall with return after return, I couldn’t resist the siren song of SALE in large red letters splashed across Barneys’ windows. I reasoned all my returns would perhaps cancel out a teeny, tiny purchase…

Despite all that, I really had no business whatsoever trying on the very pretty, and significantly marked-down Vena Cava dress that somehow jumped off the rack and into my arms right there in the middle of the Co-Op section.

So…it should come as no surprise, really, that Audrey should completely melt-down right in the middle of Barneys as I amble out of the dressing room in said dress looking around for a sales person to help me grab a new size. No sales person in sight…melt-down reaching epic proportions, and I jokingly offer my four-year-old daughter to the nearest shopper, who I realize -- after making eye contact with her, was Jessica Simpson.

I actually almost gave my daughter to Jessica Simpson…I’m a bad, bad mom!

12 comments:

Susan said...

OMG, J...that is so funny! But the real question is did she take her???

Joslyn said...

no, she just looked at me like i was a crazy lady, which clearly i am.

letter9 said...

That's too funny. At least it wasn't Britney (not that Britney shops at Barney's).

traphic signs said...

that is freaking hilarious!!!! i think one of the greatest stories ever.

~e

Owen said...

I know how you must feel. I once tried to mail my daughter to Tom Cruise. He returned her.

Joslyn said...

I'm thinking the return was a good thing Owen...

Jane said...

LOL with tears rolling down my face! Did you buy the dress?

Joslyn said...

well...i can't say if i actually bought the dress, as Bryan now reads the blog

Aaron and Lily said...

you are so understated as we've emailed a million times since this incident and you never mentioned your brush w/ jessica!

Jen said...

Absolutely Hilarious!!! That just brightened my day!

Joanna said...

That is really too funny.

Joanna said...

Oh, and I heart Vena Cava. I bought a VC dress on sale at Barneys over a year ago. They make such lovely things.