10.27.2012

Jewelry School Dropout

I worry that the blog has become a bit of a bummer of late. What with the lack of posting and all the "I'm busy" and the "I cried in the bathroom" business. But being honest in this little online space has always been hugely important to me. And now that I spend a good chunk of my day job blogging about people and places and pretty things in other spots, you guys seem to get the "in-between bits" that tend to be a smidge more rough around the edges.

That's a long lead in for telling you that I quit my jewelry class, yes?

So I'll cut to the chase. I quit my jewelry class. Yep, that very same class that I was so excited about, the one that made me feel like a total badass. I am a jewelry school drop out. And I'm alternatively relieved and completely bummed about the whole enterprise.

I've never been very good at saying no. To myself included. I think I'm capable of doing a lot more than I can actually pull off well, and as a result I end up overcommitting and (far too often) underperforming. I currently have a super demanding job, two kiddos with crazy busy schedules and heaps of homework, and a household that I can barely manage. I never call my sweet sisters, I flake on friends on a regular basis, and I've become comically abysmal at answering e-mails (if I haven't answered your e-mail, I'm sorry). But hey, why not throw a weekly three hour metalsmithing class into the mix. I've always wanted to make jewelry, surely I need another challenge. Let's do this thing.

Suffice to say, I could not do this thing. Three hours right after work every Monday was not feasible no matter how "badass" it made me feel. So I quit, and I'm not usually a quitter, so that part, the quitting part, bummed me out. But I was also seriously relieved to not be doing one more thing. I want to do fewer things and do them better, rather than stay stuck in this "spectacularly average at everything" place I find myself.

Why am I telling you this (besides continuing in my trend toward completely bumming you out here on the blog)? Well when other people are honest (especially other mothers) about not being able to do it all, it makes me feel less, well...lacking. So I  figured I'd pay it forward a bit. And also because putting it out there, owning it, tends to kick-start change for me. There's power in accountability.

So here's what I (think) I know...Sometimes it's ok to quit, to cry uncle, to regroup. I also know that this period I'm in will level out. I'll find my rhythm again, even if it's to a totally different song.

17 comments:

Tracy said...

My husband likes to remind me that "you can do anything, but you can't do everything". I am with you on the hate to quit - but as a mama of 2 girls, i too have realized that something often has to give. You made a good choice. xo

Lostylady said...

Good for you. Knowing your limitations and current priorities is huge! I say it is much better to do a little less and do it well vs. spreading yourself too thin and not enjoying it as much as you could. Who knows, down the road thd timing will be right and you will be a jewelery making badass once again ;)

second floor dweller said...

I hear you. I've been known to cry about this very thing on (more than one) occasion.

Saying "no" is freeing, even if a little bittersweet.

Elsa May said...

Thank you for being so honest - and congrats on quitting. Letting go of things can (is) ridiculously hard, especially when we are meant to be able to.it.all. without nary a complaint or a sob of 'it's all too much'. Hooray for those people (like you) who have the courage to speak up.
Have a wonderful weekend, Annie x

amy h said...

I hear you. As much as I love classes, learning new things, and getting better at old things, there just hasn't been much time for that since we started a family 7+ years ago. It can be especially hard to say no to something you really love to do, but simply can't do at that moment. The badass jewelry-making will wait for you.

katie//salt+pine said...

You know, you're totally still a badass even without the jewelry class. :) xo-k

Amy C said...

Good choice! I'm totally ok with quitting in those types of situations. Not fun, but much better for mental health! I also have 2 little girls and a full time job, so I completely understand. :/

Shelly said...

I just read an article this morning that you may find interesting. The title is : The Island Where People Forget to Die (search the title on Google and the NY Times article is the first result)...I can't stop thinking about the article and the implications of our "busy" lives. Regards-

Kim said...

Joslyn, you are not bumming me out! As a mom, you are speaking to my heart!!! This is the enduring battle for the modern mother. I so appreciate your candor.

:)

Albertina M. Cisneros said...

I totally get it....and am actually proud of your decision. I am in a similar situation...taking a photography course which is not at all what I was expecting....I thought it would be more how to use the camera and its not at all...but photography as an art form...so we do photoshop....but are not even learning much there....and I just don't have the time...but can't get myself to quit...I wish I could...but I feel like I just have to finish.... ugh! So I'm vicariously living through you!

Katie Anderson said...

Joslyn, you may think you're bumming people out, but I assure you that you're giving us a gift. Why is it so hard to set healthy priorities and leave room for margin? Thank you for the reminder and example.

G said...

Your honesty is refreshing. LIke others here are saying, you are far from bumming us out with that honesty. Many modern moms are living crazy busy lives but sometimes "less is more". You are quite inspiring by the way!

Now if you could lead a battle for schools to stop the homework mega-madness you would truly be my hero!


LindseyD said...

As a chronic overcommitter kudos to you for knowing it wasn't working and having the courage to say no and not force yourself through it :) tides will turn and things will get better. In any case you are likely to feel better with more time!

i'm stephanie. said...

i agree with katie. and i aspire to be as "spectacularly average" as you are because that equals pretty effin fabulous in my eyes.

Desi McKinnon said...

it feels so good to be an editor of your own life. good for you.

Jo Harper said...

I think it's great that you're so honest. Refusing to quit is so overrated ... to me, it's one of the weirdest parts of the American psyche. I've never understood it. Use your time the way YOU want to use it, and everyone around you will feel the benefits with you.

Flora said...

Dear Joslyn, thanks for this post, and the previous ones, and the future ones. xxx